When I think of my soul, I see myself sitting in an endless field. In front of me is a large white sheet held at each corner by some rope attached to two long poles, one on each side. There’s a box of threads and needles. There are no rules or instructions, it’s down to me to decide what I’ll stitch into the sheet, if I want to stitch at all. The first stitches are practices and not particularly neat. There are squiggles of different colours and patterns intermingling at the bottom.
They represent moments or feelings that I have experienced and they lay the foundation of the tapestry and thus my life. Over time, we stitch more and more things into our tapestry so that by the end we have hopefully filled the white sheet with experiences and emotions. We work our way upwards and outwards and sometimes we will run out of space. Some of us may not fill out an entire sheet. Maybe we don’t take the time to stitch at all or we think that we can stitch at a later date. Some people have a nice foundation at the bottom of their sheet but the rest is just blank white. Some of us will have a myriad of stitches all overlapping and running through each other so that no white sheet can be seen.
I think that in order to avoid the white sheet, you need to find enjoyment in as many moments as you can. I often think back to a podcast I listened to where someone with a terminal cancer diagnoses said they wished they had enjoyed sandwiches more. They didn’t say they wished they had gone to Greece, they didn’t regret not asking someone out, they didn’t cry for more time. They just said that they wanted to have savoured the simple things more than they did. I understand that. The everyday moments that most of us ignore or take for granted. Those are the special moments. I find that they are often more special than what we traditionally think of as special moments. Sitting in the park feeding birds with someone you really like can provide a greater meaning than doing an extreme one off activity. Within the mundane hides the exceptional. A nice dog walk, baking a cake, holding someone’s hand, a cold crisp winter morning, a bite from a chicken salad sandwich.
By savouring those moments we can ensure our tapestry does not stay blank. By weaving intricate designs from the most boring of events we can ensure a bright tapestry. For me, purpose is about finding ways to fill the tapestry. I try to enjoy little moments and find fun in an otherwise not fun situation. Take sitting at the urgent care centre; this is undeniably not a pleasant experience but in the moment I try to take things in and create a memory from it. It’s not often I’m in a place like that, therefore it’s new to me, therefore there’s excitement. Having things stuck to me while my pulse is measured – that’s not a normal situation at all. I almost laugh at the absurdity of it. So what for most is just a crap few hours has become a small stitch in my tapestry. Imagine what my tapestry must look like.