Music

I remember, when I was really young (maybe 6 or 7), that my dad would play songs from bands like Pink Floyd or The Rolling Stones. I didn’t understand the music necessarily, but the album covers had an effect on me and I enjoyed listening to the tunes with my old man. Whether in the car or in the lounge at home, he would sing along with passion even if he forgot the lyrics, and even if he was tone deaf. “This is the best song ever” he would say, or “There’s no one better than this”. I grew up believing his opinion to be fact; The Stones were indeed the greatest rock band of all time, and David Gilmour may as well have been the messiah.

MP3 players entered the mainstream at the end of 2001, after the release of the first iPod. A few years later, other companies released their versions and around the year 2004/05, I was handed one of my own. It was given to me by a friend from school called Kim, and it actually belonged to her older brother, Jake. It was a simple, green rectangle with a football on it, and it had one audio jack, one USB, and some buttons.

I was already way ahead of my peers at school when it came to using a computer; I was quick to embrace new technology, and we were fortunate enough to have one of the best available home PCs at the time. However, one thing I was lacking was an older brother. Kim had one of those, and he was so far ahead of me that he may as well have been a time traveller from the future. So, I was handed this portable music player, it was loaded with maybe thirty songs, and all I had to do was press play.

Back then I merely liked the music; I had no idea what I was listening to, but now I can tell you it was filled with bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers (seen them live once), Kaiser Chiefs, Green Day, Linkin Park, and artists like Justin Timberlake and Eminem. These were songs that Kim’s brother downloaded, stuff that was popular at the time and that he liked. Remember – I had no idea how to do any of this myself. I would listen incessantly as the playlist repeated again and again.

This was my lifeline to music in my ears whenever I wanted it. Of course it wasn’t long before I was given an official iPod, and that’s when my own journey began.

[I recently found the MP3 player and saw that the songs were all downloaded in 2002. It had 121MB storage, which is about two or three of my lossless FLAC files today]

First there was iTunes, a revolutionary catalogue of songs. 99p to buy a song, plug in the iPod and sync it up, listen to your heart’s content. Then I discovered Limewire – my initial foray into piracy. I downloaded everything and anything I wanted to listen to, but my knowledge was lacking. Also, each download came with the risk of killing the computer. I stayed committed to the bands I knew and liked.

We were the first generation of kids to be given mobile phones so I of course made sure it was loaded up with songs too. It was a strange variety of different bands and artists and though I really liked my music, I wouldn’t say anything yet spoke to me. Or at least I wasn’t feeling the music.

When I said my journey began when I was given an iPod of my own, that wasn’t strictly true. My journey really started later, in 2013, when I was so depressed I wanted my life to be over. The band I discovered at my lowest, the band that changed my entire being, the band that became the soundtrack for my evolution, was the heavy-metal Seattle-sound godfathers of grunge…Soundgarden.

Boiling heat, summer stench
’Neath the black the sky looks dead
Call my name through the cream
And I’ll hear you scream again

I found them when going through a YouTube playlist of the ‘500 best rock songs ever’. Near the top of the list was Black Hole Sun, their biggest hit. A picture of the band appeared on the screen with the name SOUNDGARDEN. Then came that intro, the droning and wailing guitar with that instantly unforgettable riff as the drums kick off. Chris Cornell’s powerful and mystical voice threw the cryptic words at me from the speakers, and when the chorus came I felt goosebumps. I was fed up with the world, and this music was how I felt. The psychedelia of The Beatles matched with the heaviness of Black Sabbath paired with the sheer overwhelming force of Led Zeppelin mired in the dirt of the Seattle grunge movement.

From Soundgarden came a renewed love for Nirvana, a band that had previously become a bit uncool to like. Then Pearl Jam (seen them live once), followed by Alice in Chains. The big four of grunge were now a regular part of my rotation. I always liked Linkin Park, even as a kid when I first heard them, but as I got older I really became a fan. When I started university in 2015, band posters adorned the walls of my room, but it was the anger and angst of the Seattle bands that spoke to me throughout my time at uni; however, it wasn’t all I listened to.

One day I’ll write an entire post about The Beatles, but for now, it should be enough to just say that they are the pinnacle. Their musical and cultural significance cannot be overstated. Look at how they evolved from Love Me Do to Sergeant Pepper to the so-called White Album. It’s insane – all of this done really in the space of 7 years. The bands I love simply don’t exist without The Beatles.

They are not just the best, they are the leaders of a revolution that we’re still living in today (saw McCartney live once). My love for them extends to John Lennon as an individual artist – Imagine is the perfect album, and I’m not sure if there has been a singular talent like him in music ever. The Rolling Stones were of course the quintessential rock band (who I’ve seen twice). I adored Bowie, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and Bob Dylan (seen him once). I also appreciated heavier music, bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, or Sabbath. Also, ACDC (seen them live once) in the Bon Scott era particularly.

My tastes expanded at university, leading me to artists like Elliot Smith, whose devastatingly soul crushing lyrics laid against beautiful melodies still send a shiver down my spine today. I couldn’t quite tolerate The Smiths, beloved by my first girlfriend at uni, but I likedThe Stone Roses. Oasis was one from my childhood, and my love for them grew, but Blur became the Britpop band for me. Nowadays, I think I’m back to Oasis though. Eric Clapton, Dire Straits, Elton John, and an appreciation for Elvis. Foo Fighters, Gorillaz, Iggy Pop, Screaming Trees, and a group I categorise as a grunge band – Stone Temple Pilots. The Police made sense to me, though I’m not a huge fan (Message in a Bottle is still one of my favourite songs). Tom Petty has some of my most played songs ever and I think he’s the greatest American rockstar. His death was a really tragic one for me. Don’t even get me started on The Who (seen them live once).

Surprisingly, I even have a passion for hip-hop and rap, which probably comes from a friend whose older brother (always an older brother) loved the stuff. I’ll often listen to Run-DMC, N.W.A, De La Soul, Wu-Tang, Tribe Called Quest, Public Enemy and similar groups. I’m suburban and white, so I obviously listened to Eminem, but I also frequently listened to early Jay-Z, Biggie, Tupac, Kendrick Lamar (saw him live), Dre, Snoop, Nas, and Kanye (before he got weird). My tastes were eclectic, but dominated by classic rock.

Towards the end of my time at uni, I started to become much happier. It was nearly done, and after graduation no one could force me to do anything I didn’t want to ever again (hah). I felt like my wants and desires had been denied for almost two decades but now I could see freedom. The music I used to listen to in frustration was now a source of happiness. Black Hole Sun went through a metamorphosis from a downtrodden moaning rant into an upbeat anthem. And then, a year and a half after graduating, the world shut down when COVID-19 hit.

I was going to move into a flat with my then girlfriend, and we were going to be trapped there, so I pirated downloaded every song by every band I’d ever shown any interest in. One of the bands I’ve mentioned (in reference to Soundgarden) is Led Zeppelin. I always liked Zeppelin, but restricted myself to a handful of their hits. During COVID, with high quality FLAC files and expensive headphones, and a lot of spare time, I learned something that would change the course of my life:

Led Zeppelin is the ultimate rock band. They are the epitome of a rock band. Musical virtuosity, sonic innovation, stage presence – that’s why they’re number one.

Each member of Zeppelin is a master of their craft. Their catalogue is filled with a range of different styles and influences, and the quality of their recordings is second to none. The songwriting is the peak of what humans can do lyrically, and the musicianship is unparalleled. They were an impossibly tight unit, they took risks, pushed the envelope, and if any band has ever deserved this word, it is them; legendary.

Iconic guitar riffs, wailing vocals, instrumental proficiency. As sometimes happens with me, I don’t actually have the words to explain how much I cherish this band. I cannot articulate what they mean to me, and to be honest I’m not sure I need to. If you know you know, and if you don’t then I feel sorry for you. That’s it. I also have a zep tattoo.

When I was really into grunge, I started to listen to the bands that my grunge heroes liked. That got me into groups like The Butthole Surfers and Blind Melon. I did the same with the rock bands I held in such high regard, and that introduced me to the world of Blues. With melancholy glee I listened endlessly to Robert Johnson, B.B.King, Muddy Waters, Buddy Guy, Elmore James, and all the Southern Black Blues singers who inspired people like Mick Jagger, Robert Plant, and Eric Clapton. I listen to John Lee Hooker a lot at the moment.

From Blues, I found my way to Bluegrass and Country music. These genres are quite musically simple, with great folk lyrics and that old timey American sound that I really like. Very early on in my life I discovered Johnny Cash, but I also liked Carl Perkins, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings in particular – technically this is Outlaw Country music. Neil Young, who you could include in the Grunge category, as well as The Allman Brothers, and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Of all these artists and bands, Townes Van Zandt is probably my favourite. Not only was he a talented guitar player, but his songs were pure poetry; Dylan said that even he wasn’t a songwriter like Townes Van Zandt.

Various people in my life have tried to turn me on to new music, and some of them succeeded. One girl introduced me to an Australian band called The Dolly Rocker Movement, as well as a bunch of other things that I still listen to. She also reintroduced me to Tool. I was taken to a Slipknot concert by someone.

I rarely like the things that people show me, because I am such a diehard fan of the things I already like, but I do try. I’ve listened to Tokyo Dream Room, Beach house, modern electric music stuff. Greta Van Fleet for example; I started off liking them until I realised that they were a crappy Led Zeppelin knockoff. It’s probably worth mentioning The Black Keys, who do actually have that ‘sound’ that I’m looking for. I love them.

I hate sounding like a boomer, but I genuinely don’t understand modern music. There’s nothing coming out that speaks to me the same way all the music I’ve listed above does. I’ll listen to Adele, and I like the Arctic Monkeys. I get Billie Eilish, and I understand the popularity of Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift. I just don’t vibe with the stuff. I know that the music I listen to is from some of the highest selling and most influential bands of all time, so I haven’t discovered any secrets. Even a group like Muse (seen them live once) who do respect the bands that came before them, doesn’t excite me in my core.

It’s just that the way the industry is today, the way algorithms control what music we are exposed to, I’m unable to find anything that I relate to. Songs sound recycled to me, and artists get hit after hit selling millions upon millions of units, but where are the songs that make me feel?

Where is the angst of Nirvana’s Drain You.

Where is the sorrow of The Beatles’ For No One.

Where is the magic of Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir.

Where is the tension of The Rolling Stones’ Gimme Shelter.

The storyteller doesn’t exist in music anymore. A desire to be famous or sell records seems to supercede a desire to just play the stuff. Ask anyone in the industry and they’ll confirm; labels aren’t nurturing artists, instead they focus on short term immediate successes. Bands aren’t sweating it out in neverending tours perfecting their craft. Okay, I know that there are small pockets of streaming platforms where the music I’m missing is still being made. I also know I sound like an old man. I just feel sad that there’s only so much of the music I like because the bands are finished, that time is over.

The catalogue of my favourite bands is limited, and the idea that there will be no more music from Soundgarden or Zeppelin hurts me. No more cars in swimming pools, or smashed hotel rooms. The days of godlike rockstars dominating the stage with pure energy and talent are long gone as musical landscape has broadened. There’s no intoxiacting allure from vegan and eco-friendly Chris Martin of Coldplay. I want reckless abandon and charisma, youthful defiance – not commercial viability. This stuff shouldn’t be a commodity for Spotify’s stock price. The stage isn’t a sanctuary for outcasts and misfits anymore, it’s just an empty spectacle.