I’m really lucky that I’m not a writer because I can make myself do a lot of things but writing is not one of them. I can’t force myself to put words on a page. I’ve been sitting here, staring at the screen for chunks of time thinking a thousand thoughts a second but being unable to consolidate them and type them out. Before getting into whatever this is, I was considering discussing so many different topics that it overwhelmed me. First, I wanted to talk about work. There’s one project not going so well and it sticks with me, affecting me for days or weeks at a time.
Even though this really has nothing to do with me, I’m taking it personally and I can’t seem to shake it off. Then I wanted to dive into something that happened the other day; I was selling something online and the guy came to pick it up and we have a fairly aggressive shouting match over the price. I couldn’t actually believe this guy, and I know people like him exist, but I’ve spent my life avoiding these arseholes so to encounter one like that was so strange to me. After that came relationships; I was going to write about how I seem to have no trouble finding new people except they all turn out to be completely wrong for me.
There’s cool things happening in my life, but I don’t really want to share that with anyone outside of my group of friends. What the fuck do I write about then? Once I’ve figured out a topic, that’s not the end of it by any means. What tends to happen is that I’ll write pages of stuff and stare back at it for 10 minutes. Then I’ll delete the entire thing and not touch my computer for the rest of the day. I don’t know where this comes from and it’s a bad habit, I’m trying to not edit my writing nor delete posts now. If I had to write a book, which I have tried many times, I honestly think I’d end up dying before finishing it. I suppose it would be great to figure out where this issue stems from. Oh well looks like we’ll have to do that on the next post.