The sun wakes me up early every day. At least it means I don’t need to set an alarm. The blinds in my room aren’t fitted correctly and they let the light creep in. My eyes are slow to open, and I wake slightly confused and not well rested. I sometimes dream, but more often than not it is empty nights with nothing worthwhile to remember by morning. I will stay in whatever uncomfortable position I wake up in and stare in the same direction. This continues for around twenty minutes, although I will occasionally rest my eyes. I then reach for a glass of water, and it will quench my thirst but leave me unhappy at the feeling. While I am up, I reach for my phone and retreat into the covers. I begin by making sure the brightness is at its lowest, and the blue light filter is on because my eyes have not yet adjusted.
I will flick and swipe my way through social media, browsing and scrolling. None of the posts grab my attention, the occasional piece garners a chuckle and sometimes there is something that will hold my attention for more than a few seconds. After a couple of hours have passed, I may put my headphones on and listen to music to distract me momentarily from a sweeping sadness that seems to always pass over me once I am finished getting up to date with the world.
Whether I have skipped listening to music or not, I will then lie completely flat on my back in bed and stare up at the ceiling for fifteen minutes thinking about nothing. I am unsure where it comes from, but something will click inside me and I will suddenly get out of bed and sit on the side before habitually moving to the bathroom. The bathroom is always cold, and often I will not care. I put on a playlist of the usual classic rock.
I grasp at whatever energy I can find in the music, but by this point the songs have been wrung dry. Then I step into the shower having given it time to warm up. When all is done, I am in my clothes and ready to leave my bedroom, which recently has been around midday.